George Walford: The Humor Of It

In order to see what is wrong with what the “Socialist” Party likes to call the case for socialism, all one has to do is to take it seriously.
We recently attended a meeting of one branch of the party at which it was proposed that a collection be taken and the proceeds given to the striking miners. The form of democracy accepted by the party allowed us to take part in discussion (though since we don’t agree with them we are not allowed to vote), and we pointed out the consequences when this proposal is related to the party case.

The party holds that the workers receive, within narrow limits, only enough to enable them to maintain and reproduce themselves as efficient workers (Questions of the Day,1978, pages 5/6). It follows that to the extent the proposed collection contributed to the support of the miners it was relieving the capitalists of the need to pay them that amount. This branch of the “Socialist” Party was proposing to subsidise capitalism.
This brought a roar of well-deserved laughter. Now it only remains for this branch (and the rest of the party, if they take the same view) to be brought to recognise that what they were laughing at was their own party’s case.

from Ideological Commentary 18, June 1985.